You Are Not Invincible

  • Home
  • About Us
    • Founder’s Story
    • Contributors
  • Get Informed
    • Signs and Symptoms
    • Prevention In Your Area
  • Help Fight Addiction
    • Volunteer and Donate
    • Calendar
  • Blog
  • Contact

Donate to Our Cause
26
September 2017

Anecdote 11: What to do if you suspect that your child is using drugs, part seven

 

Prev: Part six               Next: Part eight

Introduction

During the last anecdote, we discussed the importance of patience, the importance of seeking a support group, the importance of trusting your own knowledge and instincts and good communication with oneself and with others.   I believe that honest communication with oneself are key to success in achieving any goal or endeavor.

We will now continue with the list of actions a parent can take to help their child through to recovery.

Actions a parent can take

Your relationship with your child is of high importance:                It is very easy to demand that your child just stop making bad decisions, or just stop using drugs, or just stop seeing friends that you consider bad influence.  These demands will only hurt your relationship with your child, especially when you tried this approach in the past and have met with no success.

Let’s consider the following scenarios:  Say you ask your child to stop using drugs and let’s assume that your child would like to comply.  So, your child stops using drugs for some period of time.  We will ignore withdrawals for now.  If there is no substitute for the time that was spent using the drug, then your child will be in a need to fill that time with some activity.  Having no other viable substitute (at least not viable in your child’s mind), drug use will come back.

Second scenario:  Say you ask your child to stay away from his drug using buddies and let’s say that your child agrees and would like to comply.  With no other friends to hang out with (at least none that your child believes s/he can hang out with right now), your child will be drawn back to her/his drug using buddies.  Potentially you, at this point, would love to point out how many non-drug-using friends your child has.  Your child, for whatever reason, may not feel comfortable approaching these non-drug-using friends right now.  Your job is not to argue and prove logically that you are right and your child wrong.  Your job now is to help your child find a path to her/his non-drug-using friends or new non-drug-using friends.

Knowing the above, you may attempt to direct your child to spend time in school or work, in the hope that having an activity away from drug use will lead your child to a path away from drugs.  Depending on how addicted your child is, these activities, that you consider normal, may become high stress situations which will lead your child back to using drugs.

Help your child architect a path out of addiction with love and understanding.

Protect your relationship with the rest of your children:               No doubt the rest of your children have guilt feelings that need to be aired out, or worse yet they may be on their own path to their own addiction.  Make sure that you do not neglect your other children in your attempt to help the addicted child.  Try not letting your other children feel that they are less important than the addicted child.  You may care to set up regular scheduled time with your other children.  Explain to your other children that their risk of being addicts themselves is greater than average and as such they may care to refrain or curtail their use of alcohol.

 

Next Anecdote: We will delve further into actions a parent can take up.

 

Prev: Part six               Next: Part eight

You are not invincible—Stew Birbrower

Together we march towards a destiny

 

Filed Under: What to do if you suspect that your child is using drugs Tagged With: #BTF, #BTFMovement, #Drug Abuse, #drugs, #Heroin, #How To Talk To Your Kids About Drugs, #Parenting, #Stigma, #students, #YouAreNotInvincible

9
April 2017

Anecdote 1, Marijuana Residue in Pipe

Marijuana Residue in Pipe

Part One                                               Next: Part two

 

Introduction

I will use this blog style communication to keep you in the know, share my opinion or discuss some important topics.  I hope that you will read it and doubly hope that you will respond.  Praise or criticism types of responses are welcomed.  Your response will let me know what is on your mind and help me fine tune both the anecdotes and our efforts in the movement.

In general these anecdotes will be short, less than a page long and if need be I will break a long anecdote down to multiple ones.

With this in mind let’s begin.

Story that exemplifies a core problem

I recently heard a story of a young man who was expelled from a regular high school—day school, and put in a category of students that are not allowed to mix with “normal” students but will need to continue his education during evening classes by viewing prerecorded lectures.

This decision came about because an on campus police officer asked the young man where he parked his car.  The young man refused to reveal the location of his car to the officer.  In turn the officer viewed the secrecy as “suspicious” and placed the student in detention.  School law demands that while in detention the student must surrender his phone and car keys.  At which point the campus police felt that there is enough reason to search the car, during which they found a pipe with residue of marijuana in it.

Impact on Student

The student feels violated, singled out, carries anger feelings.  He has refused to return to his senior year and will not receive a high school diploma, at the end of this year.  As adults we know that one should not make important decision when we are angry, depressed or are down.  Yet our hapless friend is making life impacting decisions while extremely angry.  These decisions includes a goal in life: not to attend school again and to seek non skilled work for which high school diploma is not needed.

School authorities, do a lot to pour more fuel into this out of control fire.  School treats him like a trouble maker and will allow him to keep this course of action…

 

My opinion next week…

Next: Part two

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: #drugs, #Marijuana, #students

Recent Posts

  • Anecdote 19: How to behave around someone who lost a child, part four
  • Anecdote 18: How to behave around someone who lost a child, part three
  • Anecdote 17: How to behave around someone who lost a child, part two
  • Anecdote 16: How to behave around someone who lost a child, part one
  • Anecdote 15: What to do if you suspect that your child is using drugs, part eleven

Archives

  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017

Benjamin Tofik Farah Movement
PO BOX 17129
JERSEY CITY NJ 07307-7129
info@btfmovement.com

Copyright 2013 by BTF Movement - Jersey City, NJ. All rights reserved.

The BTF Movement is dedicated to educating all peoples to live a drug free existence. Information posted on this website is meant for educational purposes for families in general and those of recovering addicts. We are not medical professionals and strongly recommend professional guidance and intervention for long term recovering addicts and their families